Twelve years ago, I was working in a job that I didn’t really like and I felt so stuck. I felt like there were no other options except to stay and suffer. And I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that but what I realize over the last 12 years is that back then I was living in what’s called a fixed or victim mindset. And today, I’m gonna share with you exactly what that is, what the opposite of that would be which is called a growth or abundant mindset and five steps that you can take to create and develop your growth mind set today.
Stay with me to the very end because I think number five will surprise you.
Hi you guys, my name is Denise Walsh and welcome back to my channel! In today’s video, I’m gonna share with you exactly the mindset that either can take you in the direction of suffering or direction of your dreams. What am I talking about here? Yeah, you probably already guessed it, we’re gonna talk about having a fixed or maybe victim mentality versus a growth or abundant mentality.
So what’s the difference? I have pulled up here; a fixed mindset is when people basically believe that their basic qualities, their intelligence, their talents, their life situation are fixed. Meaning, they’re not gonna change. In a fixed or victim mindset, it’s basically like the life is happening to us, there’s not much that we can do to impact our life trajectory. It’s either in our genes, it’s in our family lineage, it’s because x y&z happened, it’s because of our parents, our upbringing, you know, all of those reasons keep us where we are and there’s not much we can do because it’s fixed.
Now, I lived in this world myself for several years when I got my first job as a clinical psychologist and I was in a, you know, that spot where I’m like I don’t really like it here, I don’t really like it here but I don’t really know what to do. And when I lived in this restlessness, I felt like I didn’t have very many options. To me, I felt like the world was a pie and this just must be my piece of the pie; this is my income that I’m gonna make, this is my happiness level, this is my life situation and I didn’t really think there was much that could change. And so I lived there and I understand those that live in this fixed mindset because I think that it can be an easy mindset to slip into.
So, what’s the opposite? A growth mindset, now let me read my definition… Is for those that believe that our most basic qualities can be developed through dedication, hard work… Brains and talent are just a starting point.
So if you think of growth or abundant mindset, in this world, the world you oyster. Right, there’s lots of ways to earn an income, there’s lots of people in this world, there’s lots of ways that you can make life better and really discover and design and create anything that you want. And you know, those who choose to see the world with that you know, maybe the glass is half-full end up having a full and satisfying life. They are more apt to being overflowing and have happiness and feel full and joyful. They feel like they can be creative and they can give back in the world, they feel secure and confident in life’s endeavors because they’ve got their hands on the steering wheel. Instead of the world right, happening to them, they feel empowered to decide and to connect and to go and to move and to create and go.
And so, let’s talk a little bit about why this belief matters, okay? So you can have a fixed mindset, you can have a growth mindset and honestly you probably if you’re anything like me, flip back and forth depending on your mood or the situation and now when you can identify it, right? You can then choose the one that best impacts you the most or the one that you want to have.
But why does this matter? This matters because the way you view the world, your beliefs impact the action that you take. And the action that you take impacts your growth. So for example, if your belief is that the world is fixed, that this is just your piece of the pie, that there’s not much you can do because it runs in your family, you know, if this is your worldview then guess how much action you’re gonna take. Probably not much. So then guess how much growth you’re gonna experience. Probably not that much.
And so flip – flip side right? Let’s say that your belief is that you can become an expert in anything, that with time, energy, hard work, you really can become who you want to become and your belief is that anything is possible. Well, how is that gonna impact your action? You’re gonna take more action in that specific desire which will lead to more growth in that specific arena.
It’s kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? If you say you can’t you will and if you say you can you will because belief impacts your action which impacts your growth. And these stories, these beefed systems only become true if they rob us of the growth we’re really looking for. Belief is the fuel, belief is the fuel for you to actually take the action you’re looking for to see the results and the growth that you want.
So today I’m going to give you five ways to grow this growth mindset so it becomes your default. Number one; focus on what you do have. This is called your proud list. Now, a lot of you have probably heard about a gratitude list and being grateful and raising your energy body of course, right? But this takes it a little step further, and this is called you’re proud list; what are you already proud of? What do you already have? What movement have you already taken? I think especially when you’re working hard on a goal, let’s say weight loss, right? You worked really hard for 30 days and you don’t see much progress.
It can be easy to think about how far away you are from the goal rather than how far you’ve already come. You’ve already changed some habits, you’ve already gotten in the groove, you’re al – you’re just getting started. You know what I mean? And so you’re proud list is a way for you to stay focused on what is working, what you already have accomplished and what you already have. Number two is watch your words. Yes, there are some – there’s some fixed or victim word that you’ll start to notice or catch yourself using including things like “either-or” or maybe “should” “always” “never” you know? You could replace the word failing.
So if you hear yourself saying either/or meaning you have to choose, right? Either/or. Usually that’s a limiting belief. Or “should”, should statements. Should, says who? You know, you can see yourself saying I should XYZ, I should – and that really just means you’re living underneath your personal expectation and the thought here is “says who?”. So take that out of your vocabulary. Always never again is typically a limiting belief. You know, my husband’s always late or my wife never cleans or whatever. Usually never true. Most likely it’s not true. You can look at the facts, right? But that can pigeon-holed us into this fixed or victim mindset.
And then to replace that word failing with the word learning because as we know, beliefs impacts action which impacts growth. And even if the outcome isn’t perfect, you’re growing and that’s the benefit, right? That’s the goal. Number three; ask questions. Always live in a state of curiosity. So, even if your current reality feels stuck, feels hard, feels like there’s not many options, there’s probably more than you really think. Your brain really – especially in – in anxious or depressed moments, really turns inward and what we want to do is turn it back outward. So ask questions. If you know anybody that’s been in a similar situation, ask them questions. How did they get out of it? What can you do? What options do you have? Create an options list of what are some things that you could do to take yourself to the next level; if you need to look for jobs, if you need to find a new way to market your business, if you need to reach out to scholarships, whatever the case may be, ask questions and start brainstorming the possibilities.
The cool thing about asking questions either to people who’ve been in a situation like yours or are three steps ahead right? Maybe they have what you want, is all those options and those possibilities will start to flood into your mind. What’s cool about this is that whatever mindset you’re currently living in, you can flip back to the other one and so if you find yourself in a fixed mindset, you can flip back and be an abundant mindset within seconds just by going through these five tips. Ask questions.
Okay, number four; listen to who you’re hanging around. Now, this is really interesting because sometimes we – I have a hard time catching our own negative or fixed victim words because it’s normal to us, but if we listen to our friends, those who are surrounding us and they’re using these stuck words, it can be a cue that we probably are too. So take a listen to the five people you hang around; are they saying words like both and, are they saying things like there’s always enough, there’s plentiful, there’s overflow, there’s plenty of people in this world.
You know what I mean? If they’ve got that abundant mindset, then that’s a cue that you are in a good space. If they’re using the fixed words, then that’s a cue that you might be there too.
All right, number five is to give back, give back. This is really a powerful one because anybody that’s been on a mission trip or service downtown you know, downtown their area and a homeless shelter or with kids and youth groups knows that the more you give the more you get back. And when you’re in a fixed mindset, there is this element of feeling like the world owes you. And again, that – that type of energy really never serves us, right?
So, when we – one way we can get out of it is to serve others. Use our gifts, our talents, our love to serve the world and that can help us get out of our own head and into the world of our dreams.
Here’s what I know, your mindset is a skill. It’s like a muscle that can grow and these thought patterns that you have are often just habits. So, a fixed mindset can just be a habit, an abundance mindset can just be a habit. So you can grow a new habit by impacting your belief, changing your action and then seeing the growth. Create your own self-fulfilling prophecy by using these five tips and tricks to grow your growth mindset today.
Have an awesome week you guys and if you want more of these free information, check out my podcast called Dreamcast on all major podcast players as well as my Action Planner which is my favorite time management tool to help you create a plan and take action towards your dreams too. Have a nice day.